Dry-Foot Bwoy, by Miss Lou

Wha wrong wid Mary dry-foot bwoy?
Dem gal got him fi mock,
An when me meet him tarra night
De bwoy gi me a shock!
Me tell him seh him auntie an
Him cousin dem sen howdy
An ask him how him getting awn.
Him seh, 'Oh, jolley,jolleyl'

Me start fi feel so sorry fi
De po bad-lucky soul,
Me tink him come a foreign lan
Come ketch bad foreign cole!
Me tink him got a bad sore-troat,
But as him chat-chat gwan

Me fine out seh is foreign twang
De bwoy wasa put awn!
For me notice dat him answer
To nearly all me seh
Was 'Actually', 'What', 'Oh deah!'
An all dem sinting deh.

Me gi a joker de gal dem laugh;
But hear de bwoy, 'Haw-haw!
I'm sure you got that bally-dash
Out of the cinema!'

Same time me laas me temper, an
Me holler, 'Bwoy, kirout!
No chat to me wid no hot pittata
Eena yuh mout!'

Him tan up like him stunted, den
Hear him no, 'How siiley!
I don't think that I really
Understand you, actually.'

Me seh, 'Yuh understan me, yaw!
No yuh name Cudjoe Scoop?
Always visit Nana kitchen an
Gi laugh fi gungoo soup!

'An now all yuh can seh is "actually"?
Bwoy, but tap!
Wha happen to dem sweet Jamaica
joke yuh use fi pop?'
Him get bex and walk tru de door,
Him head eena de air;

De gal-dem bawl out affa him,
'Not going? What! Oh deah!'
An from dat night till tedeh, mah,
Dem all got him fi mock.
Miss Mary dry-foot bwoy!
Cyaan get over de shock!